Developmental Assets
Developmental Assets
I wrote a series of articles based on research undertaken by Search Institute, an independent nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide leadership, knowledge, and resources to promote healthy children, youth, and communities.
Since 1989 Search Institute has extensively surveyed more than 2 million young people between the ages of 12 and 18. As a result, they developed the 40 Developmental Assets, a list of factors in a teens life that are “concrete, common sense, positive experiences and qualities essential to raising successful young people.”
40 Developmental Assets for Teens: Empowering Teens
One category of assets is Empowerment. In order for teens to feel empowered, Search Institute has found that they need these experiences to be present during adolescence :
Community values youth – Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth.
Youth as resources – Young people are given useful roles in the community.
Service to others – Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week.
Safety – Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
Search Institute insists that “young people need to be valued by their community and have opportunities to contribute to others. For this to occur, they must be safe and feel secure.” One negative side effect of failing to value young people is that they may begin to see their lives as less meaningful when compared to the lives of adults in their community. According to Search Institute, it is important to help teenagers spend time contributing to their communities. This could range from finding out about opportunities and how to get involved to simply figuring out ways to get them there. Many young people want to make a difference and contribute something to society. Their efforts to do so should be given a firm platform and praised as they begin to bear fruit. As this happens we can be more and more confident that these newly empowered young people will seek to ceaselessly strengthen their role as valued members of society on into adulthood. As young people begin to see how much they are valued, it is also important for them to be given useful roles in their communities. It is of course common for young people to approach adults for advice and guidance but there is a great deal that can be learned by adults too if the askers become the asked. For instance, most young people are overflowing with insight pertaining to current popular culture. I am the first in a long line of adults to rant about how necessary it is to teach young people about such high brow things as politics and current affairs. The need for this is important but I become a hypocrite when I ignore my own need to hear and learn from what young people have to say. The youth of today need to know that their interests and the knowledge that they possess are just as important as that of the adults in their communities. Learning from young people need not be a tiresome task, it begins by simply asking your son or daughter to teach you about such simple things as the video games they enjoy or the song that’s on their Ipod. Search Institute also suggests encouraging teenagers to take leadership roles in addressing issues that concern them. I believe that, as we adults encourage such behavior, our young people will begin to feel good about being young instead of pressured to grow up too fast and do something “more important”.
Search Institute discovered that encouraging teenagers to volunteer at least one hour a week is a great way of getting them involved in some sort of service to others. Along with this it is important to talk with them about what they learn from these experiences. At the Bridge we have realized that our teens have a great deal to offer and can do a fantastic job even when entrusted with a lot of responsibility. Our skate park has a team of bike riders, skateboarders and inline skaters who act as representatives of their home park in their schools and neighborhoods and are given the chance to serve The Bridge community by cleaning and helping to build new ramps. This is just one effective way that we have found that encourages young people to serve others.
The Bridge offers a safe place for young people to live their lives and have fun. Rules and boundaries are enforced for their own good. The fact that young people are complacent regarding rules and regulations shouldn’t deter adults from reasonably enforcing them and educating them about their necessity. In fact, Search Institute found that a feeling of safety held by teenagers in their homes, schools and neighborhoods is one of the key developmental assets that ensures feelings of empowerment. Search Institute highlights the importance of talking with young people about their feelings and fears regarding safety. They have also discovered that it is important for young people and adults to work together to help promote a feeling of safety.
Parents and adult mentors of teens cannot ignore the role that they play in empowering today’s youth and need to proactively work to ensure that the needs of the teens in their lives are being met in order to ensure healthy development through adolescence and into adulthood.
40 Developmental Assets for Teens: Supporting Teens
In our second exploration of the key external developmental assets, we will be focusing on how offering support to our young people helps to enhance their lives.
The Support Assets are:
Family support – Family life provides high levels of love and support.
Positive family communication – Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s).
Other adult relationships – Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults.
Caring neighborhood – Young person experiences caring neighbors.
Caring school climate – School provides a caring, encouraging environment.
Parent involvement in schooling – Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
According to Search Institute, families have an important role to play in providing their teens with high levels of love and support. Many of the emotional and behavioral problems teens exhibit are directly linked to a lack of support or care bestowed upon them by their parents and other family members. Resentment and other destructive attitudes are born when a child is not supported at home. I have read a number of interviews with successful professional skateboarders. Their career is not one that every parent would wish for their child to pursue. It comes with hardly any of the guarantees of a more “stable” job, not to mention the fact that skateboarders have a history of being seen as social outcasts and not many parents want their kids to be professional social outcasts! It is often customary in the interviews for these skaters to give shout outs to the people who have supported them along the way. I am always profoundly affected by how, at the top of these lists of people, a parent can often be found. Many of these interviewees will say how they could not have lived the productive and exciting life that they have had without the support of those at home.
Search Institute suggests that positive family communication creates an environment where a young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parents. Instead of parents forcing their views on their children in a negative way, this environment will make young people comfortable enough to take the initiative in asking their parents and older relatives questions about how they need to live their lives.
Search Institute also identifies other adult relationships as being essential sources of support for young people. This is especially the case when a teen lacks the support from family at home. This does not mean that these older friends should have to become surrogate parents to those whose birth parents are emotionally or physically absent. An ideal role of adult relationships in such a situation would be one of aiding their young friends in improving and maintaining their relationships with their parents. A priority of the staff at The Bridge is not just to ensure the smooth running of the facility but also to be mentors to the young people. We encourage any adults who are willing to help the development of young people to volunteer their time at The Bridge and become mentors in that environment.
A caring neighborhood is a fundamental element required in supporting young people. What if parents chose places to live that were full of people interested in supporting all the kids who live there, instead of being a potential danger to them? What if parents sought to improve their neighborhoods for the sake of their children?
Young people need a caring school climate if they are to feel supported. Schools are to be places where teens feel encouraged. I know parents who will base their decisions on where they will call home on how good the local schools are for their children. This is a great start for any parent who realizes how important supportive schools are in their children’s development. Such parents also need to know how their being actively involved in helping their children succeed at school is another integral part of the support they need to develop healthily.
It is clear to me that parents, other family members, teachers and older friends of young people need to work together in offering support to teens. Development through support is not easily achieved by any one of these groups alone.
Search Institute lists ideas for those parents and mentors who are looking for practical ways of supporting teens, particularly Middle and High School youth.
They are as follows:
-Be available to listen.
-Affirm independence and interdependence. People need each other.
-Find out what teenagers care about and advocate for their causes.
-Ask teenagers for their opinion or advice.
-Continue to show affection to teenagers by spending time with them–even if you’re not doing or talking about anything special.
40 Developmental Assets for Teens: Constructive Use of Time
The third set of external developmental assets we will look at illustrates how important it is for teens to use their time constructively if they are to become well rounded adults.
The Constructive Use of Time Assets are:
Creative activities – Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts.
Youth programs – Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in community organizations.
Religious community – Young person spends one hour or more per week in activities in a religious institution.
Time at home – Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
I grew up hearing people blame destructive teenage behavior on the fact that they have nothing to do. However valid this point may be it isn’t as easily solved as one might think. You can’t erase the problem with a one time measure. For instance, a lot of skate parks were built in my hometown in areas where teenage delinquency was rife. It was as if the people who built the parks thought that was all it took to end the problems. Sure, it helped a few people but the effect diminished as these parks were seen over time as less of a stage for new and constructive activities and more like an alternative terrain for the same negative acts. It became clear to me that these places can’t just be built and left, they must be maintained and overseen by responsible adult mentors who genuinely believe in the important purpose they serve in providing young people with something constructive to do.
Creative activities (such as art and music classes) and youth programs tend to be more appealing to younger teenagers. Most communities have at least a few running. It becomes harder to encourage young people to be involved with such things as they become older than about 15. This certainly does not mean that parents should give up and leave their young people to do their own thing. It might take a little more creativity and effort to find activities that would be appealing to older teens. Knowing what your teens interests are is a good starting point. For example, it is more likely that a teenage boy with an electric guitar would be more interested in being in a band with his friends than in taking weekly guitar lessons with an adult who is no longer as cool as he was in the 70s. If this is the case, opening up your garage as a practice space and encouraging your teens’ band to enter local high school battle of the bands contests might be an ideal way to make sure they are doing something constructive with their time. We have plenty of parents whose children skate and ride bikes at The Bridge. I have personally seen the benefits of parents actively encouraging their teens to continue pursuing such activities to constructive ends.
Search Institute has found that involvement in a local religious community is another great way of ensuring teens use their time constructively. According to Search Institute, parents should look for opportunities through their church congregations (or other well-known congregations in their communities) to get their young people involved in constructive activities. Many of these offer activities (such as service projects) that get teenagers excited, while also teaching them positive values. As teenagers grow up parents need to lead by example and show them what it looks like to be productive members of religious congregations. From my own experience I know that if this example is consistent it will be a positive guide for young people as they enter adulthood.
Finally, Search Institute highlights the importance of the time a teen spends at home. It is essential for parents to pay close attention to where their children go and who they are with, especially when they are younger. As their teens grow older, parents should set limits on how many times they can go out with friends during the week and on weekends. This should be done in a civil and diplomatic way that their teens can respect and understand. For example, these rules can be presented in a family meeting, allowing for a healthy degree of discussion on the matter. Search Institute has found that, if your teenager has a part-time job, it should be limited to 15 hours a week or less during the school year. Studies have shown that teenagers who work more than 15 hours a week have more problems than those who work fewer hours. Spending time at home should be an appealing prospect for a teen. They should favor such home time over time spent hanging out away from home with friends without any set goals. Parents who are interested in their teens lives and display a loving willingness to cultivate a relationship with them should have less trouble convincing them to spend spare time at home.
40 Developmental Assets for Teens: Boundaries and Expectations
The final set of external assets is all about establishing boundaries and clear expectations in a teenager’s life.
The Boundaries and Expectations Assets are:
Family boundaries – Family has clear rules and consequences, and monitors the young person’s whereabouts.
School boundaries – School provides clear rules and consequences.
Neighborhood boundaries – Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior.
Adult role models – Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior.
Positive peer influence – Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior.
High expectations – Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
Wherever teens are they need to encounter mentors and role models who are not scared of establishing and lovingly enforcing positive boundaries. Search Institute encourages other adults to come alongside parents in modeling positive, responsible behavior. The adults that teens encounter in their neighborhoods need to assist parents in monitoring their behavior. A parents job is made far harder if the boundaries and expectations are contradicted by others as soon as their children step outside their front door. This is one great reason why having relationships with our neighbors and living in a community with positive influences is so important to the development of our children.
Children’s parents are their #1 role models. Even the wisest and most loving of role models would have a hard time taking the place of a teens parents as the people with most influence in their lives. This is an important fact to remember from the moment a person becomes a parent. When faced with this responsibility parents often become either far too restrictive to the point of overly sheltering their children, or they will choose the path of least resistance by giving teens complete independence. Both of these routes can all too easily lead to negative results. It is for teens to have a healthy balance of boundaries and autonomy if they are to become happy, confident, independent adults. Parents and other family members are to make the most of who they are as primary role models by being the first people to set boundaries and establish expectations. Parents have every right to monitor their children, however independent they might become. Parents need to be seen as united as they guide their teenagers. Consistent agreement concerning what the family boundaries and expectations will be seen as something solid and reliable that a teen can willingly respect and adhere to. If you have children aged between 16 and 18, Search Institute suggests creating expectation contracts for both you and your teenager to sign about significant issues. For instance, a driving contract can be helpful for teenagers once they get their license.
It is important for teenagers to know when their #1 role models notice and appreciate their positive behavior. Search Institute points out that parents can do things like complement their children’s manners and friendship skills to encourage such acts and attitudes. It is important that any boundaries and expectations that are established in a child’s life reflect and support positive behavior.
Some friends that I grew up with went to a school that had a severe problem with violence. They recall getting into fights and getting beaten up on a daily basis. For a series of perplexing and illogical reasons the people in charge the school decided that the problem was not serious enough to treat seriously. It was more or less ignored and allowed to persist. This lack of steadily enforced boundaries yielded clearly negative consequences that had a destructive effect on the teenage students that was in many cases irreparable. Search Institute stresses how important it is for schools to provide clear rules and consequences if teens are to benefit from boundaries and expectations as key developmental assets in their lives. I am happy to say that I had first hand experience of this when I was at school and know how positive of an effect it can have.
According to Search Institute, parents and other adult mentors need to subtly affirm positive friendships and resist the urge to criticize those that seem potentially negative. Many teens get defensive about friends their parents don’t like and may get even more determined to maintain the relationship. This needs to be balanced with making sure that teens are not hanging out with people who are an obvious threat. For example, I do not feel it would be necessary for a parent to prevent their child from hanging out with other kids who are mostly well behaved but whose parents are not the best influences. I remember having friends when I was younger whose parents freaked me out by how little they knew about raising their kids. This was mostly because my parents had raised me in a way that was far more appealing for me to follow and emulate in my own relationships. If anything, seeing how it should not be done from my friends parents made me more eager to live by the standards my parents cared enough to set for me. This is what inspires me to stick to my guns concerning boundaries and expectations however much the teens I know and try to teach fuss about it. We, as parents, neighbors, teachers and adult mentors, need to lovingly stick to our guns!
It is important for teens to know that we believe in them and their ability to meet and exceed the goals that we set for them. Search Institute suggests talking to teens about what they expect of themselves and share with them how this reflects or contrasts what we might expect. This perspective will provide an important foundation for the boundaries and expectations that you create.
As we set boundaries and expectations, Search Institute points how important it is to continue talking about important issues, that relate to succeeding in school, not using drugs or alcohol and so on. As teens get older there tends to be more to discuss and such discussions are often harder to confront. However, I firmly believe that having an uncomfortable conversation here and there is a tiny price to pay for a relationship with teen full of communication, respect and love.
40 Developmental Assets for Teens: Positive Values
This is the first article that we will be posting about the twenty internal developmental assets. These internal assets identify those characteristics and behaviors that reflect positive internal growth and development of young people. These assets are about positive values and identities, social competencies, and commitment to learning. The internal developmental assets will help young people make thoughtful and positive choices and, in turn, be better prepared for situations in life that challenge their inner strength and confidence. A key difference between the internal and external developmental assets is that the external assets are more dependent and easily affected by surrounding factors in a teens life, such as influential relationships. For example, it is easier for a parent to directly control whether their child is using their time constructively than it is to instill positive values in the mind of a teen that they will consistently live by. The presence of internal assets relies more heavily on the resolve of the teen to be a well rounded person. However, this does not mean that parents and other mentors cannot help establish internal assets, only that it often requires more patience and persistence.
The first set of internal assets that we will explore pertains to establishing positive values in a teens life.
The Positive Values assets are:
Caring – Young person places high value on helping other people.
Equality and social justice – Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty.
Integrity – Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs.
Honesty – Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.”
Responsibility – Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility.
Restraint – Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
Many of the positive values that I hold as an adult are there thanks in large part to my parents’ positive example. My parents work hard for their money. Many who do this feel like they should be allowed to keep all of the profits of their labor and use them only to benefit themselves. The fact that my parents have always used their resources to support those around them that do not have quite as much has taught me, and actually still teaches me, the importance of helping other people. This of course does not mean that you can only help others if you have money to spare. What I learned is that I can care for other people using whatever I have to offer, as opposed to using these things solely for my own gain.
My Dad has worked as a public defense lawyer in the UK for as long as I can remember. This role involves him helping people, who cannot afford a private lawyer, get the defense the legal system of the UK entitles them to no matter how impoverished and otherwise in need they might be. Watching my Dad do this as a teenager showed me how highly he regarded equality and social justice and how crucial it is for me to value these things in my life.
I was born to parents who live by positive Christian values. This means that, from day one, I was surrounded by a steady system of positive beliefs and have grown up always learning new things about integrity, honesty and responsibility. These values have been promoted in my family even when it is incredibly difficult to follow them and far easier to revert to less constructive avenues through a challenging situation. My parents set an example that showed me how, by unflinchingly sticking to these positive values, I would be provided with what I need to prevail over many of my life’s problems.
My Dad works a lot with teenagers who come from broken homes and are frequently involved in drug, alcohol or violence related criminal activity. Their stories are often the same and are practically void of any positive values, due largely to their parents lack of such input. This lack of influence leads to a lack of restraint regarding drug and alcohol use and sexual activity. I am always disturbed when I see how a teenager who partakes in such activity has been doing so because it is acceptable according to the negative example set by their parents. If our study of the external developmental assets has taught us one thing it is that a teenagers parent is their #1 role model. This is something that parents everywhere should keep firmly in mind as we consider the internal assets, especially these that relate to teaching positive values.
It is mainly thanks to the example set by my parents that I saw all the negative influences I encountered as a teen for what they were and did not follow them down destructive paths. The positive values set by my parents are my greatest inheritance and I look forward to passing them on to my own children in the future.
40 Developmental Assets for Teens: Commitment to Learning
The second set of internal developmental assets that we will look at is about the importance of a teens commitment to learning.
The Commitment to Learning assets are as follows:
* Achievement motivation – Young person is motivated to do well in school.
* School engagement – Young person is actively engaged in learning.
* Homework – Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day.
* Bonding to school – Young person cares about her or his school.
* Reading for pleasure – Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
7000 students drop out of high school every day in the USA. If this fact alone was not harrowing enough, consider the implications of how, over the course of a life time, a family headed by high school drop outs will cost the US tax payers $1 million. This means that the drop outs themselves are not the only ones affected by their choice to leave high school. It seems that it would not be too much to say that every time a person decides to drop out they are contributing to a serious national economic problem. We are dealing with high stakes and decisions made by individuals that affect every American. This means that it is every Americans duty to get involved in the fight for a good quality of education and for the enhancement of every teens commitment to learning.
According to Search Institute, a parents beliefs about their child’s competence affects their confidence and ability to learn. This means that motivating a child to do well at school begins simply by helping them believe that they do have what it takes to do well.
School engagement can be achieved by encouraging teens to explore all the options available at their school. It is important to make teens aware of other aspects of their school that they can be actively involved in. These may include year book, school newsletter and debate clubs. Schools today offer plenty of these sorts of leadership and learning groups. Some may have to be taken as classes or attended before or after school but they should still be actively encouraged if we are serious about teens engaging with their schools. Parents can lead by example in this area by making it a point to attend school conferences and special events and also by helping in whatever way possible to establish more avenues of school engagement for their teens. Search institute suggests that parents should be advocates for schools to do better. This can begin with thanking teachers when they provide interesting and stimulating projects and homework. Parents should be bold enough to make suggestions as to how teaching methods and curriculum can be improved.
Doing these sorts of things, and generally leading by example in this area, will show how important it is for teens to care about their school. When teens form bonds with their schools they begin to see them as hugely beneficial and important parts of their lives that they can help improve so that as many people as possible are positively affected by them as much as they are.
Another way that parents and other mentors can enhance a teens commitment to learning is by helping them develop healthy homework habits. 1 hour of homework per school day may seem like a lot to many teens but it is essential if this set of learning assets is to be built up. Introducing different homework methods can make the act of doing homework interesting in itself and can also teach teens other important skills. For example, Search Institute suggests that using online resources like dictionaries, atlases and encyclopedias when doing homework can help young people become more literate online.
Search Institute points out that if your kids see you reading for pleasure they are more likely to do so themselves. Teens will not be attracted to leisurely reading if books are only associated to boring, mandatory reading requirements set by their schools. Showing a teen how reading can be just as enjoyable as watching a movie is an obvious challenge that depends on a parents determination to communicate their belief of this fact.
Reading for pleasure is just one example of how parents can keep stretching their teens minds at home, others include playing games and staging activities that deepen their thinking (watching an age appropriate and interesting documentary is a simple example of such an activity). Search Institute makes the important observation that we cannot expect all of a teens learning to happen solely when they are at school. In many ways parents are far more the primary educators of teens than the schools that they attend.
40 Developmental Assets for Teens: Social Competencies
The third set of internal assets that we will look at is all about making sure our teens become more socially competent.
The Social Competencies Assets are:
* Planning and decision making – Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices.
* Interpersonal competence – Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills.
* Cultural competence – Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds.
* Resistance skills – Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations.
* Peaceful conflict resolution – Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
The independence and social experience that we desire our teens to have comes from encouraging them to get involved in different activities with different people. Parents should encourage their teens to take part in activities that interest them and remove them from their comfort zones. If the activity is something they are genuinely interested in stepping out in this way will not be difficult, they will be willing to do so in order to gain a fuller experience of what they love to do. For instance, at The Bridge thousands of teens from different socio-economic, gender and ethnic groups congregate to skate and ride bikes together. The barriers that present themselves when two people are from different backgrounds are overcome when these people come together to pursue a common interest.
Search Institute notes how important it is for parents to accept and encourage the friendships that are formed when teens make these steps, even if they are with people from races or religions different from your own. Search Institute suggests that parents should make their homes welcoming for their teenager’s friends. They also say that parents should get to know these friends and tell their teens what they admire about them. Parents need to balance this acceptance of their children’s friends with the ability to teach resistance skills. This means teaching teens that other kids who pressure them into doing things they know they shouldn’t are not true friends at all. Parents can illustrate their understanding of such peer pressure by relating stories of their own experiences of it.
Relationships between teens often involve unhealthy conflict resolution. Teaching our teens that having relationships with the right people will result in fewer instances of conflict is a good start. However, conflicts happen in even the healthiest of relationships. With this in mind it is important for parents to teach their teens how to deal with such difficult situations without resorting to violence.
Planning and decision making skills are essential for teens to possess if they are to gain true independence. Search Institute assures parents that there are a number of far from complex methods for ensuring that this happens. For instance, when younger teens receive long term school assignments, parents should offer to help them plan and make decisions in order to finish on time. As teens get older, something else parents can do is give their teenagers full responsibility for planning and preparing a family meal at least once a month. At first they will need help to learn what it takes to do such a thing but as time goes by they will hopefully seize this opportunity to plan something for their family.
An important part of teaching planning and decision making skills is conveying the fact that we all make bad decisions from time to time. Our children will make mistakes and we should see these as opportunities for them to learn and not as forums for us to blow up and criticize them for not being as perfect as we would like them to be. Search Institute notes how important it is not to rescue our teens from natural consequences of poor decisions. It does not help to shelter them in this way, especially since they will inevitably one day be in situations where nothing will stop them from facing these consequences. Our goal as parents and mentors is to prepare teens as much as possible for when they encounter these consequences ahead of time.
We, as parents and mentors, cannot stop teens from encountering the “real world” but we can prevent the shock that comes from a forced introduction to it by teaching them as much as we can about these social competencies assets.
40 Developmental Assets for Teens: Positive Identity
The final set of assets that we will cover relates to how teens can develop a positive identity. This set of assets serves to tie together all the other sets that we have explored, both external and especially internal. Success in cultivating these other asset areas will feed positive identities in our teens.
The Positive Identity Assets are
- Personal power – Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.”
- Self-esteem – Young person reports having a high self-esteem.
- Sense of purpose – Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.”
- Positive view of personal future – Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
Search Institute advises all parents and mentors to expect young people to experience ups and downs of self-esteem during their teenage years, and for these to increase as they get older. Any other approach would be unfair on teens since it would mean that they would be having a huge amount of unrealistic and burdensome expectations placed upon them concerning how they should act. We must think back to our teenage years and be honest with ourselves in admitting that they were by no means the easiest and most comfortable times to deal with. It may sound cliched to state that we were all also “teenagers once” but the serious relevancy of this statement can be found in the fact that it gives us adults the extremely beneficial ability to sympathize with our teens.
Common understanding of problems and issues is gained through common experience of them. Search Institute says that we must support our teens as they struggle with issues and questions of identity. As adults, we have grown up and had many of these questions answered so why not impart what we have learned to our teens? As we do so consider how baffling these issues were to us when we were teens and, in doing so, do not treat them as any less of a problem just because we have seen a solution. Only poor teachers would do this.
Search Institute says that we are to let teenagers know that we are proud of and excited by their talents, capabilities, and discoveries. Such encouragement does a great deal to help teens who crave affirmation from people they look up to. However, we must be wise with our words and how we communicate our attitudes towards what our teens achieve, there is certainly a right and wrong way to do so. Telling a young person that they are not as good, or indeed better than, another young person can have an incredibly destructive effect. It can isolate them as it decreases their ability appreciate other young people and themselves for who they are not just what they can or cannot do. Indeed it promotes the idea that a teens identity is based on their achievements alone. If a teen is to have a positive identity it must be given a far more stable foundation than this.
Finally, Search institute says that we parents and mentors should let teenagers know that we are willing to listen if they want to talk about their sense of purpose in life, including their ideas about how they would like to contribute to the world. We must realize our role as influential teachers of how teens can achieve all of these things.
Uncategorized | June 4, 2009